On the way to and then on the way from Texas to see incarcerated brown children separated from their parents, the current moneyed-yet-somehow-classless FLOTUS wore a $39 drab olive jacket with the bold statement “I REALLY DON’T CARE, DO U?” printed on the back. Pictures abound.

Classless, not clueless. She knew what she was doing. A bone thrown to the pack of press from the throne of Gaslighting Incorporated, and from my bleacher seat, the media pack cleared the bench to run out on the field and break the same photo, the same story.¹ Theories offered, explanations grow and abound, that gaslight is lit!

And the Trump Administration Regime tweeted:

“I REALLY DON’T CARE, DO U?” written on the back of  Melania’s jacket, refers to the Fake News Media. Melania has learned how dishonest they are, and she truly no longer cares!”

21 June 2018 4:51 PM. Tweet. @realDonaldTrump

Really? Hmmm … I don’t think so.

My theory? Occam’s b**bstraps (TM).²

Occam’s razor is “the problem-solving principle that, when presented with competing hypothetical answers to a problem, one should select the answer that makes the fewest assumptions.” (Source: Wikipedia)

And the theories put forth — she’s trolling Trump, she’s trolling Zara and exploitation of children with child labor, she’s trolling the media — all these theories rely on the assumption that she’s silent and sends us brainy messages and maybe down deep she has a heart. After all, she doesn’t talk much and when she does, it doesn’t seem to be her own words.

“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.“

Or maybe when she speaks, she doesn’t use her own words² and speaks English phonetically like Bela Lugosi in his early days? Ah! But I digress with another crazy theory.

“Pull yourself up by your bootstraps” is a colloquialism³ that can be used to justify an individual’s success or failure. Bold American individualism. You really need to help yourself.

And so, Melania, First Lady OTUS, hoisted herself up from Slovenian roots by Occam’s b**bstraps. (Note, although photographic evidence suggests she flung aside the b**bstraps on occasion to hoist herself even further, the phrase still stands.) She is symmetric and attractive, she modeled, she had magnetic qualities which attracted a wealthy man, she had his child, she is beyond comfortable in the tacky lap of orange luxury. The cost of her Occam’s b**bstraps is that luxury, her comfort is paramount.

And Occam’s razor? Melania Trump wore that jacket coming and going in comfort because Melania Trump is a racist. Whether she was racist before, we don’t know. Let’s stick to now. Let’s stick to simple. Assume there is no there, there. Melania Trump has doubled-down on all things Trump.

And that includes white supremacy.

FOOTNOTES:

If Melania leaves Donald and becomes a strong voice for something other than her continued comfort in silence, I will be quite happy to be proven wrong. Until then …

¹ Packs of dogs, clear the bench baseball, gaslighting. Love me mixed metaphor writ large.

² Occam’s b**bstraps. ** == ‘oo’. Occam’s boobstraps, irreverant and derogatory fer sure. Bra straps would have definitely been more appropriate, but I would have lost the poetry suggested by the ‘oo‘ in boot and boob.

Also, Occam’s b**bstraps is a phrase mash used for the purpose of making a point in this blog post. It is not a commentary or judgment on paid sex work and paid sex workers.

³ “not her own words” — Melania Trump has “borrowed” Michelle Obama’s words liberally and unabashedly. And more than once.