Today in the age of news that precedes the facts, I would like to take a moment to celebrate The New Hampshire Gazette, “The Nation’s Oldest Newspaper (TM), founded in 1756 by Daniel Fowle, A Non-Fiction Newspaper.” And this entire post is my shameless blatant endorsement of a paper that has not gone soft due to the whiz-bang-wow of the immediacy of electronic devices.

I did not know of this free and fine publication until Ann tossed me a copy on her return from a trip out east. “You might find this interesting.” And I read it. Front to back. The whole enchilada newspaper. Published once every two weeks, it is a respite from the barking news media. It is social and political commentary and observations made from the distance of space-time removed from the right NOW. National, state, and local news. Not all of the news for sure, but enough. More would just be showing off.

Here are excerpts that make me aspire to write better, smile or outright laugh-out-loud. From Vol. CCLXII, No. 15, April 13, 2018 (my bold):¹

The Fortnightly Rant:

“Now Uncle Sam’s shoelaces have been tied together — by the hand of the GOP.”

“The EPA, now being run by its own arch-enemy, Scott Pruitt … “

“In the perfectly-normal mind of Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos, … the only proper way for a child to learn is from a perfectly-matched pair of parents — one of each gender, if you please — who can somehow find the time and wherewithal in today’s nuked economy to operate their own single-family school district.”

“… consider Mick Mulvaney and all his works.”

“As a nihilistic representative of corporate chaos determined to clear all obstacles to Wall Street’s goal of world domination … “

Busted by the Flag Police

Issues I’ve read to date, run the feature Busted by the Flag Police — a photo of a desecrated US flag and why its display is not in keeping with the decorum expected of flag handling and display. This issue features a painting by Jon McNaughton of President Trump holding a desecrated flag, “specific charges … will be ginned up at a later date.” Jon McNaughton’s work “would appear to be updated works of Hieronymus Bosch, but for the marked absence of skill, imagination, and wit.”  Supposedly this painting was purchased by that great wit Sean Hannity who, since the publication of this issue, has been outed as a Michael Cohen client. And I laugh.

Letters to the Editor: A Veterans’ Day Parade Done Right

“Just a thought, but as they say, “Nothing’s too good for a soldier, but we give it to them anyway.”

– Dan Mannschreck, Col., U.S. Army (Ret), Eliot, Maine

And I feel a connection.  Dad used to say, “Nothing’s too good for the poor, but we get it anyway.” Hmmm, perhaps he learned this in the army, too? Note to self, investigate.

Admiral Fowle’s Piscataqua River Tidal Guide (Not for Navigational Purposes)

And finally, enjoy a sampling of historical events noted on the back page:

Sunday, April 15, 1992 — Leona Helmsley, America’s anti-sweetheart, takes up residence at a federally-owned Crowbar Hilton in Lexington, Ky.

Thursday, April 17, 2013 — A fertilizer plant located next to a middle school in West, Texas, uninspected since 1985, blows up. Fifteen are killed, mostly volunteer firemen, 250 others are injured.

Friday, April 20, 1971 — Mistaking the National Mall for their lawn, Supreme Court Justices tell Vietnam Veterans Against the War to get off it.

Saturday, April 21, 1971 — In Washington, D.C., Vietnam Veterans Against the War defy the Supreme Court by staying on the National Mall. Park police decline to arrest.  Tomorrow’s headline: “Vets Overrule Supreme Court.”

Monday, April 23, 1014 — Vikings are defeated at the Battle of Clontarf.  High King Brian Boru is slain by Brodir, but Brodir is soon disembowelled [sic] by Brian’s brother Wolf the Quarrelsome.

Friday, April 27, 2017 — “This is more work than my previous life,” says President Donald Trump. “I thought it would be easier.”

Friday, April 27, 1773 — The British Parliament passes the Tea Act. Oops.

Saturday, April 28, 2016 — Ex-Speaker John Boehner calls Sen. Ted Cruz “Lucifer in the flesh,” and says he “never worked with a more miserable son of a bitch in my life.”

By publication end, I feel all the better for the reading. Smarter, calmer, able to breathe. I’ve been delivered real news and opinion in hardcopy format. Although I knew that Sen. Ted Cruz is a miserable son of a bitch, I was unaware that Wolf the Quarrelsome could be so fatally unpleasant.

And while the US Postal Service is still in business, for the fee of $25, 26 fortnightly issues are delivered to locations other than locally “free”. A mental health break bargain!²

¹ Footnoting being what it is in this electronic age — I have not discovered a superscript number beyond three (³) in WordPress — all of the indented texts above contain direct quotes from The New Hampshire Gazette, Vol. CCLXII, No. 15, April 13, 2018.

² On the subscription page, The New Hampshire Gazette is also open to donations.